Pause

I hadn’t spoken to God since I lost them in Fire/
I got stuck smoking and fucking/
Writing my desires/
I ain’t close enough to Betty Jean/
I’m trying to get higher/
Pardon me for me for being lost/
My speech is vulgar/
I write dirty love notes to liars/
What to say of hopes and dreams/
When you can’t live what they mean/
You pray that God just takes you/
Somewhere in between/
I’m surviving a war in my own mind/
So I’d rather do it with verbs/
I’m talking about kids on the field/
When I’m speaking of birds/
It’s a Falcon on the shield/
My schemes are so real/
Teaching truth to the youth/
And improving their skills/
I almost threw it away/
But then I stopped to pray/
I remembered my Grandfather/
And wise words he used to say/
I be having so much to say in my own way/
But rumors are monsters/
And dudes swear that they’re gangstas/
But they really imposters/
Not saying I’m a gangsta/
I guess I’m more like a mobster/
Moving mean though the murders/
Soliciting sponsors/
Let me make that a little clearer/
Dummies’ll probably get lost/
Like ol’ boy that say he tough/
Is probably soft/
I could rap forever bout my past/
And still sound like I’m lost/
A life of ugly sounds/
And mixed results/
I ran from myself/
And stayed in my way/
Made up for everyday/
I didn’t get to go outside/
And play/
My only hope is that/
You pray for me/
That’s all I can say/
Say that all I can/
All day, every day/